As I walk into the Neonatal Unit and glanced in the crib placed in the corner, I found myself staring at this little baby. I would like to call her an angel but she is without wings. I hear tiny cries which come out of her mouth with her legs dangling in the air. The first time I laid my hand on Baby Ola*, a 4- week old premature baby, I was scared because of her tiny fragile frame.
Baby Ola was diagnosed having Tetanus. She was given birth to in a traditional birth home and her umbilical cord was cut with a tetanus infected instrument. The fact that she came into the world weeks earlier than expected was already traumatizing, and then to be infected at such a tender age with tetanus was heart breaking for the family members and the health team.
Knowing her condition, one had to be careful not to trigger any spastic attacks. Baby Ola needed some more attention and certain procedures from every member of the health team. Her case was one that required much effort and knowledge in taking care of her.
But as days passed, I found myself thinking of her. I felt the excitement of seeing her each day however I still have this fear- the fear of losing her. I got used to being with her, monitoring her temperature, her heartbeats and even her respiration. A big part of my nursing hours were spent with her. As I spend many hours with her, the more my heart draws near to her and I’ve learned a lot by just nursing her.
Her cot side was always full of doctors and nurses. A time when her heartbeat would slow down or when she is having a spastic attack. This were just one of the many instances where Baby Ola would again face many painful procedures like pricking her sole for blood sample not just once but for many times as possible until she becomes stable. Medications of all sorts were injected into her system to combat the infection. As a matter of fact, she had been placed on different types of antibiotics. I felt so downhearted when it seemed her body will no longer stand each prick, injections and the chemicals being introduced to her. I was just hopeful that she would get through it.
Baby Ola was a fighter at her very young age and innocent existence; I know that she was strong and that she would endure till the end. There was a moment that I would just stare at her very tiny and yet lovely face and something in her just touched my heart and I have this hope that she’ll make it whatever circumstances may bring.
Behind those pains, hardships, I have also witnessed how one’s soul suffers more and that is Baby Ola’s mother, I gazed at how Baby Ola’s mom sacrificed many things for her, I can really say that a mother’s love is indeed unconditional.
This fateful morning, she was again deteriorating. I guess she was finally tired and couldn’t take it anymore. She left this cold world. She stopped fighting!
*name changed
*Baby in picture, not Baby Ola
Image: google.com
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